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Practice has been super delightful lately ’cause of the breath. My flotation experiences (and yes, I wish they’d just go back to calling it what it is: sensory deprivation) reminded me how much I enjoy breathing when I’m wearing earplugs. So practice these days includes props: the two sticky orange earplugs I bring home from the flotation spa sensory deprivation tank.

Lately I experience my breath as a sphere. Each inhale/exhale is one sphere and a single moment. I don’t think of anything that happens outside the sphere: nothing from the past, nothing from the present. If it isn’t part of the sphere, which is just the inhalation and the exhalation and the sensations of the particular posture or vinyasa, then I put it down. Sweet. It gets progressively harder to do as the week wears on; I find myself thinking about work stuff and playing scenarios in my head. No! No! No! Get out of my breath sphere! I’m entitled to at least 90 minutes per day of being beyond thought constructions, right?

***

Speaking of 90 minutes: at this point I am trekking through primary to yoga nidrasana five days a week. At almost every practice there is an interruption, usually towards the end, where my mind yells, “THIS IS A LONG HAUL!” Then I start the next breath sphere and go on.

***

Waylon, after spending close to two months going around with cuts all over his jowls from Daisy’s violent affections, finally corrected her this weekend. Apparently he nipped her. Neither The Cop nor I saw it; we just heard her yelp, then saw him immediately comfort her. Talk about not holding a grudge. He did it three times over the course of the weekend, and she is now approaching him a little more gently.

Interestingly, The Cop and I had recently started reprimanding her when she was trying to rip his face off, because it didn’t seem like he ever would and it was getting too crazy. I wonder if he finally felt like it was okay, once he saw that The Cop and I didn’t like what was going on.

Still, no matter how rough and tumble she is, how can you not love a face like this?

She warned me

When I was in Tucson, Lisa told me to get past the fear in Bakasana B, then go on to the foot behind the head poses. ““This is the treacherous part,” she said. “From here you keep adding poses to karandavasana, and it can turn into a very long practice.”

Word.

Something else she said, that I just reread in my journal

At the end of Friday led primary she said something as people were lying down for savasana: “Don’t start thinking about how you did, or whether you did well or not well. Just be grateful for the circumstances that brought you to your practice and keep bringing you to your practice every day. You are very lucky to be among the few people who do this. Be grateful to your teachers.”

This morning’s possible misinterpretation while listening to Yoga Matrix

The expansive nature of the prana (inhale) invites flights of imagination, potential for ungroundedness — which can be tethered through a grounding through the navel.

The nature of apana (exhale) invites anxiety about death (abinivesha), which can be *released* through the navel.

[Physical interpretation: It makes a kind of figure eight.]

A Year of Cats and Dogs

Yes, I suspect I would be appalled to find myself liking this book if I were actually reading it. But I had a credit to use up at Audible, and I wanted something amusing to listen to as I did housecleaning yesterday. And the narrator of the story can communicate with animals! My favorite thing!

Anyhow, her communications with dogs in a shelter range from delightful to utterly heartbreaking. Likewise her relationship with her elderly, failing Dad. I give the book a thumbs up, even though I can also be snotty about its literary value. And I give my self a thumbs down for that.

Primates!

About 75% of my FaceBooking involves commentless sharing of this blog. Yeah, I’m a FaceBook slacker, but come on! Look at the subject: Primates! (Well, the subject is stress, actually, but I’m in it for the PRIMATES.) Yup, I not only look like a chimp, I love to read about chimps. (Shout out to Jane Goodall!) As soon as I started reading this entry, I got all excited to read about baboons! Then I read his hilarious observation:

“One of the first things I discovered was that I didn’t like baboons very much,” he says. “They’re quite awful to one another, constantly scheming and backstabbing. They’re like chimps but without the self-control.”

I think I’ll probably stick with the chimps. They’re pretty unruly as it is. Baboons sound like a non-human version of “Lord of the Flies,” and I’m depressed enough from the cats and dogs book.

Quinoa salad

Quinoa, raw corn, sunflower seeds, chopped carrots, black olives, tamari, olive oil, lemon juice.

Protein bars

Mashed banana, chopped dates, oats, peanut butter, hemp protein powder, sesame seeds, maple syrup.

Dog food

Ground raw chicken legs and thighs — bones, fat and all.

Hemp protein powder

Yes, there is one that is super-powdery and melts easily in liquid. Now I don’t have to worry about wearing hemp grit in my teeth to afternoon meetings.

Snake(s)

The one I found: it’s either a lyre or a night snake, according to Russ at the Phoenix Herpetological Society. He responded to my email and pictures within 10 minutes. It was kinda getting to me, watching the dogs play out in the yard and not knowing whether there was a rattlesnake living in the grass.

Saturday night, The Cop and I were in the back yard. I saw a movement, the thrashy sidewinding way snakes move when they’re in a hurry.

“Look! A snake!” I said.

It was a tiny one, much smaller than the one I saw on Thursday.

Not sure what’s going on out there, reptile-wise. Lots of ‘em, and they all seem especially bold. On the other hand, I haven’t seen or heard a coyote in ages.

Fly

Yesterday’s delightful holiday nap was marred by an enormous divebombing fly in the bedroom. His mission, apparently, was to cavort on human skin and buzz more loudly than any fly has ever buzzed before. I fell asleep with the sheet pulled up over my head.

Last night, as I was falling asleep, The Cop announced, “I may have to terminate this.” I fell asleep, so I’m not sure how it turned out.

Daisy

You’d think since she went to bed late, after spending the afternoon and evening patrolling the perimeter, barking at neighbors who dared celebrate the holiday outdoors, tormenting Waylon, jumping up trying to bite The Cop’s wrapped hand, attacking the lawnmower, the weed whacker, me, my shoes, the curtains, and the fence that keeps her out of the yoga room, she’d sleep in a little. Not so. 4 AM is wake-up time. If I carefully ignore the progressively more frantic scratching, whining and crate-biting for 10 minutes, it’s like hitting the snooze button: she crashes for another 10-20 minutes. Three rounds of ignoring bought me 40 extra minutes of sleep this morning, in three micro-bursts.

Love

this picture of a beautiful kapotasana, along with a post
by someone who clearly thinks about more
than what it looks like.

“I have puppy exhaustion,” I announced to The Cop this morning. Indeed, Daisy is an utter joy — she is the happiest, bounciest, most irrepressible creature I’ve ever met. But man, is she a handful. For one thing, she rolls around in her crate all night. Every hour on the hour, she snorts and flips herself over in her crate — it sounds like someone repeatedly throwing a huge pot roast onto a counter top. At 4:15, she snuffles and scratches and flips some more, then whines to get out. Bleery, I open the crate, and she falls out, rolling over herself to get to me and Waylon, wiggling and snorting and biting at us as best she can.

Adorable.

Holy crap, though, I’m tired.

***

New book. Essentials of Hinduism. Another great read. I am always thrilled when I find a new interest — every book about it is a joy, a whole new world opens up. (Go ahead, ask me a question about old school alpine climbing or about whaling in the American Northeast. Or shipwrecks! God, I love reading about shipwrecks.)

It’s always curious to me how we have/develop affinities. If you’d given me this book 10 years ago, I would have glanced through, said, “Yeah, that seems interesting,” and put it down. Now I can’t wait to get home and have at it. Curious.

***

This morning was the first morning Daisy got into her crate in the yoga room by herself. I love the routine of dogs; I love that they like sleeping or watching as humans do yoga. During supta vajrasana, my head was right up against the crate. There I was, upside down, and I looked up and straight into Daisy’s green eyes as she calmly watched me do the posture.

Maybe it’s crazy, but I feel like dogs who watch yoga are preparing for a next lifetime, or remembering past ones. Creating (or sustaining) an important affinity.

So in Buddhism, there is reincarnation, but not of an individual soul. Basically, you “return to the one.” Hinduism posits an individual soul. I guess my intuitions about dogs and yoga are more aligned with the Hindu belief system, which is as it should be.

Okay, enough from this exhausted mind. I chatted with Owl this morning, and now I have a little tune playing in my head (always appropriate, as the Beatles tend to be): And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

Don’t forget, you guys. We’re here to make energy to share with the others. (Yogi Manifesto)

Cave of the sacrum. We’re all familiar with that (thanks, RF!).

In the flotation therapy pod on Saturday (of course I went back!), I was struck by how empty my head was. Nice. The darkened pod as container a strong metaphor for the inside of my skull — as if I were a tiny figure floating in there. Except in the dream, the pod/skull is thick black rubber. I have no idea why.

Nevertheless, it is a womby container for the empty that is inside the figure inside the skull that isn’t me.

How do I know? By the breath.

The breath gets cave-y and resonant in the empty. Indication of and access to.

During Ashtanga practice, that same cave-y breath. I can hear the empty in my head (which I love and am accustomed to). There is a new cave, though, which I can intuit, if not actually feel. Cave of the heart. This frightens me. I am accustomed to the heart being full.

Full or empty, same or different?

Long weekend. Yay! I didn’t remember it until speaking with a vendor on Tuesday.

He said, “Are you doing anything special for the weekend? My wife and I are going to Lake Powell.”

Me (internal monolog: “Wow, that’s random.”): “Uhhh…”

Him: “We go every Memorial Day.”

Me: “Oh, that sounds great.” (Internal monolog: “Long weekend! Woohoo! What month is this?!”)

Anyhow, to celebrate, I made pancakes for breakfast. This is the best and easiest pancake recipe ever. Cakey, vanilla-y, and like I said, super easy.

1 c all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3 T sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 egg
1 c soymilk
2 T vegetable oil

Mix dry ingredients. Mix wet ingredients. Add wet into dry and stir until lumps are pea-size.

Yum!

I have two favorite kitchen objects right now: a new cast iron skillet and a new cookbook. The skillet rocks — really, there’s nothing like cooking in cast iron. I’m eager to try out some naan on it.

The other new favorite is this book: Good to the Grain. Not only does it offer me an opportunity to treasure hunt local stores for more exotic flours like amaranth, spelt and teff, it also has the most astonishingly beautiful pictures and (yes, I worked in bookstores for a decade) a top-notch binding.

***

Speaking of books. I just downloaded the Kindle version of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Hinduism. I’ve been having such a good time listening to podcasts by Swami Jyotirmayananda every day, but it occurs to me that my understanding of Hinduism is kind of catch as catch can — bits and pieces picked up in yoga classes, online, through my own random reading list, etc.

Must take a moment to shout out to Volleyball Guy, who insists all of his students learn to recite the limbs of Ashtanga, recite the yamas and niyamas, and chant a good number of mantras. He always put the asana practice in perspective re: the larger picture of raja yoga.

So yeah, an “Idiot’s Guide” is pretty unsophisticated. But whatever, right? I need an overview. I’ve learned to go easy when I suggest that people should pick up an “Idiot’s Guide” or “For Dummies” book. It never occurred to me that someone might take it personally, until someone did. But I’m pretty shameless about starting from scratch when I’m learning something new.

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And now some pics of Waylon doing what he does best on this long holiday weekend.

The Cop and I (and Waylon!) are on vacation in Tucson. A yoga vacation for me (practicing with Lisa Schrempp) and mountain biking vacation for him. I’m just practicing and indulging myself with lots of reading (contemporary Japanese novels and historical novels) and writing. Pretty sweet.

Okay, here’s a quote from Jaron Lanier, technogeek supreme, whose new book, You Are Not A Gadget, shot to the top of my reading list when I read this:

The ratio of passivity to creativity in people is what will determine the ratio of socialism to capitalism in the long term future, as technology gets better and better.

Here’s a link to some thoughts he shares about the book/his theories. A good intro.

Why is it difficult to practice? We face a lot of pressure in this world to go fast, and we’ve become very complicated. We have to make our minds simple, present, attentive. If we don’t make our minds simple, it’s very difficult to pay attention to what we’re doing.

I read about an experiment that was done on dogs. I hesitate to talk about it because we want to protect animals from research, but it leads to an interesting point you may have discovered in your own practice. They kept young dogs in cages until they were very, very hungry, then put some food on one end of a special cage. Between the dogs and the food was a metal grid. When the dogs tried to reach the food they received a fairly strong electrical shock. After a couple of times the dogs would not cross the grid even when there was no electricity. Even if the dogs were starving they wouldn’t try it, and they would jump off if the researchers put them on the grid.

Then the researchers went a step further and found the only way to get rid of that conditioning was to hold the dogs on the grid when there was no shock. The dogs didn’t learn very quickly. Each dog went through everything it went through when it was shocked – trembling, screeching, urinating, completely losing control. But after it had gone through this whole reaction the dog would realize there was no more shock, and then it could cross the grid.

This has relevance to us because our karmic conditioning is the same. We’ve conditioned ourselves to react to certain situations. To get free of that conditioning we have to put ourselves into the situation and stay there while we go through all the trembling and sweating and urination in our pants, until we realize there is no shock in the grid. Nothing is really going on there. In my experience the tendrils of karma are very deep. Dharma Master Ji Kwang Dae Poep Sa Nim says, “Your karma seems really heavy. But when you finally take it off, it’s just like a thin piece of paper.” You have to be willing to practice with your whole body and mind to digest it, to de-condition it, and to see very clearly what is there and what isn’t there. Then even a shock won’t affect you.

– Zen Master Dae Bong

[My Gift grew up answering the question "What would Dae Bong do?" Hilarious when applied to schoolyard dramas and high school hijinks. Still, it's never steered us wrong.]

Words of wisdom. Not mine, of course

Here is the basic prescription for any question: Open the hips, then the back. Heal the knees (by opening the hips, then the back). If you want to do the next pose, perfect all the previous ones. If you want to start Second Series, deepen the backbends. If you want to do Third Series, don’t. You probably shouldn’t. If you are frequently injured or miss practices, scale back or do primary only until the inconsistency is all gone for a long time. Never, ever skip practice. And implicitly: don’t feel sorry for yourself, work hard, give thanks to your teachers, breathe deep, defer to SKPJ in all things, and make offerings to Ganesh.

Or, as Soen Sa Nim said (before Nike ever thought of it): Just do it!

***

Fun with the dehydrator! Right now on my desk, there’s a little zip-lock bag of dried salted kale leaves and crispy turnip chips, and a bag of dried apple rings and pineapple wedges. All very yummy. But I’ll tell you what: I consider the dehydrator worth its price and the amount of space it takes up (kind of a lot), just for the unbelievable deliciousness of raw flax crackers.

I’ve always had little tea splatters under my desk from tossing my tea bags into the waste basket. Now there’re a few flax seeds under there, too. I’m pretty convinced a human could live happily on flax crackers and tea. The Cop will definitely disagree on this. He is amused by the dehydrator, particularly when I tell him I can use it to squirrel away food for the coming apocalypse (he’s always ready for that eventuality).

Yup, we’ll be set for the apocalypse. Guns and ammo? Check! Large, protective dog? Check! Dried food? Check! Ice dancing routine? Check!

As noted in the past, when The Cop is at work, I cook things that I love but which horrify him.

Today I’m making Crispy Kale! It’s as yummy as potato chips (I have a potato chip problem…).

Crispy Kale

A bunch of kale, torn into bite-sized pieces and tough stems removed
1-2 tablespoons olive oil
sea salt or kosher salt

1. Preheat oven to 350F.

2. Rinse and salad spin the kale. Use a towel to blot any extra water on the leaves. Place the kale on the baking sheet.

3. Drizzle olive oil over the kale leaves and use your hands to toss and coat the leaves. Bake in the oven for 12-20 minutes until leaves are crisp. Check the kale at the 12 minute mark. If the leaves are paper-thin crackly, it’s done. If the leaves are still a bit soft, leave them in for another 2 minutes. Do not let the leaves turn brown. Remove from oven, sprinkle with salt and serve.

Dana: I suspect that, much like the last post, you may be disappointed with this.