Archive for the ‘current events’ Category

Eve Day

Great day so far — got up late (7:15!), had coffee, practiced. Went for a walk in the desert with The Cop and Waylon. Came home, had lunch, read (a great book that I read years ago & am thoroughly enjoying re-reading). Made pasta for dinner tonight. (Last night I made a chocolate bundt cake with cream cheese glaze that we’ll bring along, as well.) Just now I’m having a cup of chai and one of these. Damn, they’re good! They actually came in a basket The Cop’s parents sent. I set them aside, not too terribly interested in trying them. Finally got around to having one last night. OMG. Unbelievable.

We’ll be at my Mom and Dad’s house this evening — The Cop, My Gift, Waylon and me. My sister, her girlfriend and their dog, Wiley, are in from San Diego. Ought to be fun.

Some pics from this morning. The Cop and Way:

d and way

Lots of cholla cactus around the trail. Waylon managed to get a bit in his front left paw. The Cop got most of it out on the trail, and I just pulled the last bit out a minute ago when I saw him fussing with his paw again.

ringtail 2

ringtail 1

And here’s Way with an early Christmas present. Hope everyone gets everything they want in 2010!

way and tennis ball

 

Afternoon reading

I accomplished a lot today, seemingly without really trying. By noon, The Cop and I had spent a little time having breakfast at Starbucks with Waylon, the house was clean, clothes were ironed for the week, and all my little chores completed.

When we first arrived at Starbucks this morning, a man was sitting outside at one table talking to a young woman at another table. She had on a yellow and gold dress and looked like she’d been up all night. She was very thin and twitchy and I understood she was a meth user even before I saw The Cop’s eyes, which change a little when he sees… uh, persons of interest.

As we were sitting with our coffee, an older man dressed in golf clothes stopped to look at Waylon.

“That is a big pit bull,” he said.

We told him that Waylon is not a pit bull. He asked a few questions, then said, “He seems friendly.” When we agreed, he smiled and drew closer and spasmodically poked the air in front of Waylon’s face a few times. “Nice dog,” he said as he walked happily to his car.

I wondered what kind of animals the man usually interacts with. His gesture wouldn’t be appreciated by cats. I thought about birds, and imagined him being bitten. Reptiles? I couldn’t imagine they’d respond well, either. The Cop had wondered the same thing and come up with his own explanation: “Maybe he has a five year old at home that he likes to flick on the head.”

***

Here’s a picture of Waylon with his true love. He can only play with it when Maxine is asleep. She does not allow anyone else to play with a ball when she is awake. Seriously. I have to hide yoga balls and tennis balls because she bites and “kills” the big ones, and declares ultimate ownership (she will NOT share, but will pretty much fight to the death) over smaller ones.

I was worried at first that Waylon might swallow the tennis ball, but as it turns out, he just wants to carry it around and lie down next to it and gaze at it lovingly.

waybo with tennis ball

***

Nothing like a super short short story. Lydia Davis. Here’s a good story — and a link to an interview, and a link to more samples

 

Blogs and books

Leading Your Boss: The Subtle Art of Managing Up
Harvard Business IdeaCast

Dance with Chance
The Invisible Hand: Management, Economics and Strategy (Episode 85)

Immunity to Change: How to Overcome It and Unlock the Potential in Yourself and Your Organization

The Reflective Practitioner

I listen to podcasts while I clean the house on the weekend. And then I look up books related to the podcasts. Today has been pretty entertaining. I mean, what more can I ask for: Managing up! Change management! Two of my favorite things. I am still reading last week’s find: James Austin’s Chase, Chance, and Creativity: The Lucky Art of Novelty, which is about Chance! and Creativity! and Science! More favorite things.

Okay, so today’s podcasts. Managing up (or down, or across) can be pretty discouraging, right? I have a few burn-out bald spots on my aura ’cause of being a manager, it’s true. And effecting organizational change? Using real people? Haha! As if!

Okay, so I recognize that the job of management can be unforgiving, and I recognize that people pretty much scoff at the idea that adult humans can really change, but here’s the God’s honest truth: I always feel optimistic about these things. Why? Because we can use *creativity* in the workplace, and an organization is an enormous petri dish just waiting to house new experiments! The more things seem impossible, the more I think up new ideas. I can’t help myself. I get invited to LOTS of meetings/teams/projects — it’s something my boss tries to protect me from, but it’s also something I find incredibly energizing. I think it’s a result of (and, let’s face it) a source of tapas. Yes, I think it’s intimately linked with my practice.

Yeah, I know. We’re supposed to use the energy that results from tapas to pursue spiritual enlightenment. I can’t shake the conviction, though, that we’re supposed to dig into real life, like the zen practitioner who finally rides the ox he’s tamed into the marketplace. Apparently, my ox is pointed toward a business setting. I’m as surprised about this as anyone.

 

Autumnal

Farmers market for turnips, spinach, apples, dates, bosc pears, carrots. Everything looked so good. It feels like fall. And yes, it’s a crisp 82 degrees in the desert. The season’s a’changin’.

Vanessa has mentioned dal one time too many on her blog. So now there’s a big pot of masoor dal simmering on my stove. It’ll be great later with some jasmine rice. No matter how many times I mix up Indian spices, I am always surprised at how good it smells: cumin, coriander, turmeric, cardamom, cinnamon, cayenne. It really seems like a kind of magic, the way they all work together.

It’s a double no-practice day: Saturday AND the moon day. In honor of relaxing, I am going to watch an episode of “Californication” on Netflix. My Gift turned me on to this program, and it is utterly hilarious. It makes me want to move to LA, even though I imagine once I got there, I’d be sorry…

 

List of events that have occurred during my blogging absence

Old refrigerator broke. New refrigerator arrived. Cop was shocked by price of refrigerators these days.

The Cop was in traffic accident. Broadsided. While in unmarked police car. Karen keeps giggling about what a drag it’d be to hit another car, only to have a uniformed cop emerge from said vehicle. (He wasn’t hurt in the crash, BTW.)

Work has been utterly crazy. So much so that The Poetess (who wanted to get in earlier to do her own practice) has been opening the door for me at 5:30 instead of 6. Yesterday I practiced until 7 AM, stepped outside the room to take a short conference call, then went back in to finish up.

Maxine is having health challenges. She’s an ancient dog! She’s hanging in. Has taken to being picky about food. I figured out how to tempt her, though. Two bacon snacks sandwiching a blob of peanut butter. I call it “The Elvis.”

I am reading Marcus Buckingham’s book, Find Your Strongest Life. I am NOT a self-help kind of reader, but I was very curious about this book. Apparently he suggests we ditch “balance” in our lives — trying to have everything and then balance it is more stressful than just figuring out what you really want/are good at and then focusing on that. That idea sounds SO appealing.

 

Prison stripes

About once a year, I’ll have an extended period of criminal behavior. Generally, I avoid writing about it. Obviously, the potential for stirring up emotion about adherence to the system is pretty high. But you know, I am having such a good time that I am going to blog about my experience.

Back in the day, when I had one of these “vacations” from Ashtanga, I would be all concerned: “How can I call myself an Ashtangi? What if I never practice Ashtanga again?!” Yeah. Okay, well, here’s how it plays out: I have an alternate practice for about a month, I learn a lot, and then I miss Ashtanga so much that I can’t stand it and revert to regular practice.

It’s really not unlike times when I’d finish a book of poetry, then spend my time worrying about whether I’d ever write again. (Melodrama!) Yeah, I always write again, and so… um, whatever.

All of this started last Saturday, when I played around with a practice Linda outlined and was rewarded with an extraordinarily sweet savasana. Next day, all I wanted to do was this practice again. And then the next day. And then I spent time tormenting myself about what I should and shouldn’t be doing. And then I laughed at myself.

So this is what I’ve been up to this week:

Matthew Sweeney Simha Krama shoulder openers
Sirsasana – 3m
Marci Naujokat shoulder stretch – 1m / Backbend, at wall – 1m / Marci shoulder stretch – 5m
Pasasana – 1m / Uttanasana – 1m / Squat – 1m
Virasana – 3m / Supta Virasana – 2m
Pincha Mayurasana – 1m / Anjanayasana A – 1m
Vrischikasana A– 1m / Anjanayasana B – 1m
Vrischikasana A– 1m
Hanumanasana – 1m

Venkatesh Standing Arches
Hands on hips, feet together – 1m / 90deg bend – 1m
Hands on hips, feet hip width – 1m / 90deg bend – 1m
Straight arms up & over, feet together – 1m / Uttanasana – 1m / up & over – 1m
Straight arms up & over, feet hip width – 1m / Uttanasana – 1m / up & over – 1m

Bhujangasana – 1m / Ustrasana – 1m / Ardho Mukha Svanasana in wall ropes – 1 m
Kapotasana hangback – 1m / Kapotasana – 1m / Ardho Mukha Svanasana in wall ropes – 1 m
Urdhva dhanurasana – 1m
Dropbacks
Closing
Savasana

 

Mind/Body problem

As it turns out, I’m finding it’s not a “problem,” nor even a distinction.

I’ve been sick all week, with the symptoms getting worse and worse. Usually there’s an uptick by now, but it doesn’t seem to be kicking in. Bleh.

Okay, so one interesting thing: I am gauging my condition via how my mind feels as well as how my body feels. You know, like it’s ONE system. ;-)

I was brought up hearing “listen to your body.” This always baffled me, because my mind has always been a LOT louder than my body. That was my karma (habit). How in the world could I make my mind quiet down so I could hear my body? How could I be convinced it was my body talking and not my mind pretending to be my body? Gah!

I took up lots of physical practices to try to sort this all out: zazen, weightlifting, tai kwan do, climbing. Note a progression here? Yes, the “sport” got progressively more scary. It had occurred to me that the only way to circumvent my loud mind was to scare myself enough that my mind couldn’t fool me. If I could freeze my mind, I’d see what my body did on its own. Climbing was definitely the apex of my scare-yourself-until-you-can’t-think experiment.

But I don’t think that experiment worked, at least not the way I intended. I didn’t manage to turn off my mind, as distinct from my body. All that happened over 100 feet was that my mind didn’t noodle around with extraneous things. So my mind never shut up or went away. But what I did get was an opportunity to pay lots of attention to my system (body and mind) under different stressors. At least 10,000 hours, I’m sure.

So now Ashtanga is in the picture. The zen practice has had time to kick in. And I am sick as a dog.

What’s interesting is that I can feel “how I am” in the moment as a MUCH more integrated system. This integration is super-obvious at work (and yes, I do think of work as a sport and as a practice), where my body has to be still so my mind can see what’s going on in different situations. Kind of like zazen, where it’s really cool if the body can kind of pipe down and the mind can get really light. But it’s not a denial or disappearance of the body, so much as a coordination of body-mind. A specific configuration that doesn’t blot one out while favoring the other.

***

What got me thinking about this is a story on a friend’s blog, about a yoga newbie who was watching him do dropbacks. She watched carefully, then arched back further and further until she dropped back (one-handed, no less!).

Reminds me of my climbing buddies. Advanced climbers, natural athletes. Ex-gymnasts and martial artists. I say mind/body, they say body/mind. They definitely were super-gracious to lay out the path for me. All I had to do was exert myself and not allow my mind to freak out and doom everybody else.

In my next incarnation, I would like to be a body/mind person.

***

I went into work for one meeting yesterday, and it was utterly fascinating. Every single person I spoke with (and these are people outside my department, who did not realize I’d been out sick or that there was anything unusual about my state) reached out at some point and touched me on my shoulder.

I’m seen as a friendly, warm person at work, but I am not seen as a “touchy” person, so this touching was very unusual. I assume people were just subconsciously aware of my system being weakened, and they reached out to share some energy. (Oh my, I can totally see The Cop rolling his eyes when he reads this post!)

 

More lovingkindness

We drove to Sedona using some sketchy directions (yes, directions I found — which were apparently sketchy enough that The Cop declared, “Never get directions from a Buddhist!”) and eventually ended up on a narrow road at the top of a pinetree-covered hill in Sedona. There was snow on the ground and cars parked on both side of the street.

My Gift and her two roommates (let’s call them The Anthropology Grad Student and The Earnest Humorist) showed up a bit later (My Gift inherited my sense of direction).

We entered the grounds of the yoga center where the Relic Tour was housed. “One thing I notice about Buddhists,” The Cop said, “is that they dress poorly.” A fellow met us at the gate and directed us to a yurt where an instructional video about the Maitreya Project was playing.

We watched the video & then got on line to wait to be let into the building. Once in, we were directed to stand on line in front of a beautifully decorated table covered with flowers, brocade, flickering candles and shiny gold reliquaries. The Tibetans love their visuals.

There was chanting in the background and the sound of a nun blessing people.

While on line, we turned the prayer wheel and looked around. Finally, a man gestured for me and The Cop to approach a small statue of the Buddha that was standing in a glass container filled with saffron-water. We dipped wooden ladles into the water and poured it over the Buddha, holding in mind our spiritual masters, imagining the water as washing away our impurities and preparing ourselves to be open to the relics.

The relics were very intense. The video we saw showed monks, after presiding at a cremation, spooning relics out of the ashes.

Some of the relics looked like freshwater pearls, some like grains of rice. Others were perfectly spherical. Some were raisinet-shaped/sized (this was noted by The Anthropology Grad Student and The Earnest Humorist). Some were pure white, some pearly, and some amber. Some were cloudy, some opaque, and some clear.

If only I could burn up and leave just the tiniest perfect sphere. I found that such an inspiring thought — just one pinhead-sized sphere.

Some of the masters had many relic bits — Buddha was many rice-shaped ones.

And I loved the single container that held the relics of 500 Thai Arhats all mixed together.

Mahakashyapa (the first patriarch) was there!

Once when the World-Honored One in ancient times was upon Vulture Peak, he held up a flower before the assembly of monks. At this time all were silent. The Venerable Kashyapa alone broke into a smile. The World-Honored One said, “I have the All-Pervading Eye of the True Dharma, the Secret Heart of Incomparable Nirvana, the True Aspect of Formless Form. It does not rely on letters and is transmitted outside the scriptures. I now pass it on to Mahakashyapa.”

And Ananda, who I’ve always loved!

Ananda asked Mahakashyapa, “Buddha gave you the golden woven robe of successorship. What else did he give you?”
Kashapa said, “Ananda!”
“Yes!” answered Ananda.
“Knock down the flagpole at the gate!” said Kashyapa.

And Shariputra!

Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva
when practicing deeply the Prajna Paramita
perceives that all five skandhas are empty
and is saved from all suffering and distress.

Shariputra,
form does not differ from emptiness,
emptiness does not differ from form.
That which is form is emptiness,
that which is emptiness form.

The same is true of feelings,
perceptions, impulses, consciousness.

Shariputra,
all dharmas are marked with emptiness;
they do not appear or disappear,
are not tainted or pure,
do not increase or decrease.

Therefore, in emptiness no form, no feelings,
perceptions, impulses, consciousness.

 

Gift

I found my birthday present to myself!

Was thinking I’d buy a Kindle. Borrowed one we have at work to try it out, and felt like meh, it’s okay. Not enough love to really feel compelled. And most of the books I’d want to buy for it aren’t offered in Kindle format.

So, as is often the case, I stumbled upon what I really wanted once I’d stopped looking for it.

 

I’m proud of us

barack-wins3-xo-spirit