Not as good as you think & Not as bad as you think

Posted in ashtanga on 07/23/2009 03:52 pm by karen

Home practice Thursday! That exclamation point is a cheerful addition because I’m in a good mood right now. Wouldn’t have been there if I’d written this earlier.

Home practice of intermediate is hard. Jesus. Everything I write about references difficulty these days. Have you noticed that?

Okay, so I like Thursday because: it’s almost Friday, and: it’s the day Matthew Sweeney says is okay for entertainment experimentation. Today I did intermediate, going for a sketch of the practice more than a deep digging in. That’s always nice and relaxing. And it kinda took the comparison thing off the table. I mean, when I am in the shala, where it’s HOT, and where I can undistractedly work work work the poses, I get much further into backbends and LBH stuff. I mean, duh. So it doesn’t really make sense for me to feel bad about NOT being able to get so deep at home, but I still tend to go there in my mind.

Anyhow, yes. A nice sketch of intermediate. And I decided to use the video recorder. Because sometimes I feel like my poses are great, and sometimes I feel like they suck. I have no perspective. After practice I took some time and watched the recording. Know what? It’s just like MM said in a class one day. “Your poses aren’t as good as you think. And they’re not as bad as you think.”

They were fine. Not at all like how I imagine myself when I feel like a melting blob of jello or a stiff, unyielding fireplug. And they were not fine. Not at all like I imagine when I feel like I am utterly stellar.

So there you go.

All in all, I’ve been feeling more sucky than stellar, so this visual report was pretty positive.

***

MS suggests going past your regular poses in Thursday practice. I tried mayurasana and nakrasana. Gah! Okay, the mayurasana thing was pretty ridiculous. Mostly it just hurt my wrists. How can I get my elbows lower into my gut and rest all of my body weight on the points of them? Really? It doesn’t sound like a good idea when you say it that way, does it?

I struggled with my head on the floor and my legs all amok behind me. The Cop stopped in the doorway and watched for a while and I wanted to scream at him. Because I don’t like being watched when I’m struggling like an idiot. He didn’t know that, though. He couldn’t see that I was insane with rage on the inside. I watched the recording and you can’t tell at all.

Oh, that’s the fun about watching these recordings — there is a universe of experience happening inside, and pretty much none of it shows on the outside. I love that.

And then I tried nakrasana, and like a dope, I kept my hands under my shoulders. Uh, yeah. That didn’t work. In the recording, I heave myself with all my might and go nowhere at all. Again. Nothing. Again. Nope. Then I scramble off my mat and go to the bookshelf, where I leaf through Yoga Mala. Then I come back and put my hands closer to my waist. And achieve one feeble hop. Okay, that’s enough for today!

***

Um, what’s the deal with vrischikasana? Does it or does it not come after karandavasana? Why did I imagine it did? In the recording, I flip through Yoga Mala in vain, looking for the scorpion.

Sadness.

 

4 Comments

  1. Someone told me that it’s not in 2nd any more in Mysore. It’s now in 4th but it’s in 2nd in Swenso, all changed since he wrote it, supposedly.

  2. What Grimmly said- that’s what I heard. I wish is was there.

    This post had me howling, probably because I relate to it so well. The rage, the video… oh god, so much hilarity. I didn’t know what acid reflux was until meeting Mayurasana. ha ha!! It sure helps me remember not to eat too close to practice. Like 4 hours!! bleh!

    I practiced for years before thinking of taking a picture of myself- or a video. The first time I did, I was shocked. For me it was that I looked better than I thought (I can’t believe I’m writing that, but it’s true!). I’ve had more time to photograph and video myself since my first dabblings, and have also found some very sucky moments. I recorded my Nakrasana the other day and realized I was doing some double bounce thing. It was hilarious! Like, “heave ho! I’m doing Nakrasana!” boing boing boing. A bounce in between each hop. Ridiculous. But I cleaned that up real fast. That’s what I like about video. Every once in awhile it’s nice to see what the poses look like compared to how they feel. I’m a very visual learner, so it helps me. But I try not to fixate.

    Oh, and by the way- just toss in scorpion on Thursdays. MS said so.

  3. hi Karen
    in mayurasana, are you lifting the chest forward as you use the elbows in the gut as an anvil or fulcrum? you need to push the chest forward and up as if you were going to do cobra, that helps the front part of the asana, the back part is then lifting. i myself sometimes have brief moments aloft, but the pushing up forward helps.

    in nakrasana, i would focus the attention on what the hips are doing. i would forget about what the arms are doing. if you think that the thighs have to go whop! whop!, like bunny hopping, that will give you the momentum so that the body will hop forward. if you don’t pay attention to the legs hip actions, it’s going to stress your chest and you will think it’s all a power action push up, which it’s not.

    hope that helps.
    hugs
    Arturo

  4. (oh, and in nakrasana, it’s easier to get the momentum with the hips upwards action when going forward, a little harder when going backwards)

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