Put it down
Posted in zen on 03/25/2009 11:51 am by karenOkay, so my first zen teacher, Seung Sahn, taught the practice of “putting it down.”
What does that mean? Well, it’s the practice of not hanging on to perceived insults, aggravations, grudges, bad feelings, etc. Lots of people think that if you practice zen, it means you don’t have aggravations or anger — but that’s ridiculous. Of course you have those things, at least if you are human. The point, though, is to practice putting them down.
First off, it’s interesting to think about why you have those things in the first place. If you take a moment, when you’re livid, to observe your feelings, what you’ll find (pretty much 99.9% of the time) is that you are pissed because your concept of your self is being offended somehow. It’s all about what Seung Sahn called “my-me-mine.” It’s all about you being the center of your own little universe, and when something doesn’t go the way you think it should, you have an internal hissy fit.
LOL!
Try it, though. Okay, so you’re driving and someone cuts you off. Anger flares! But wait a minute! Why is it there? Because someone has offended ME! Someone has not acted the way I want them to!
So you have the huge rush of anger. What does it mean, then, to practice putting that down? It means that when you feel that rush, you feel it, and then you dismiss it.
Or what if someone says something and it makes you feel insulted? What?! How dare they?!
Go ahead and try this: Put it down.
Yup. Simple as that. Practice it over and over. And when the little voice in your mind brings the insult back up again (again, and again, and again!), put it down. Again, and again, and again! The interesting thing you’ll find is that you are probably a little addicted to feeling that it’s IMPORTANT that you wring every drop of anger and insult out of your experiences. You’ll find that you think the angry insulted feeling BELONGS to you. That it’s IMPORTANT and REAL. That you shouldn’t just drop it.
So try dropping it. As a little experiment.
And if you like the results, you can keep putting things down. Over and over, every time it happens.
You know what you’ll probably find? That you don’t miss it. That it isn’t important. Imagine that: something that YOU feel isn’t all that important. LOL!
Welcome to some pretty delicious freedom.
03/25/2009 at 3:39 pm
i was once in a bus in Berkeley, going to visit a dear friend. there was only another passenger on board, an Asian lady. i was blabbing on the phone to a friend in Texas, complaining that another friend, who was visiting me in SF, was behaving his usual neurotic self, including not accompanying me to the party i was going to. i went on and on complaining. the Asian lady turned to me and said, “drop it, let it go.” i ended the conversation and she added, “this is what i tell my son. you’re not married to that person, right? what are you worried about? it’s not worth it. let it go.” i gave her a big smile, thanked her and said, “that’s perfect. i love you.” – how a nice way to get timely great advice – right on the bus. no need to obsess about my agravations.
cheers,
Arturo
03/25/2009 at 8:00 pm
Karen, what a great entry… and I LOVE the phrase “putting it down”- works so perfectly. My boyfriend is able to “let things go” so much quicker than I am! I admire that in him and try to learn from it. What you wrote, about doing it over and over, seems like such an important key for it to finally stick. Repetition makes something lose it’s power. Thanks for sharing what you’ve learned. I’m totally going to start saying “put it down” in my mind when I’m annoyed.
Arturo! That’s a fantastic story! I love it when a stranger comes out of nowhere with something like that. How nice that you responded the way you did. Some may have become defensive or angry, you learned from it. And now we learn from it!
ps- that YouTube vid was great (I love space!!!), but what the heck was that spliced in part with the singing guy? ha ha ha!!!
03/26/2009 at 5:36 am
Driving–virtually anywhere–is a great opportunity to practice this. I notice (of course) that I’m better at it post-practice than pre-. Thanks for the reminder, Karen!
03/26/2009 at 6:14 pm
That pesky ego. Can’t live without it, hard to live with it.
Great practice advice. Thanks!