Archive for March 23rd, 2009

Machiavellian Tips and Tricks

Posted in work on 03/23/2009 02:01 pm by karen

Yes, I am a zen practitioner, and yes, I bring zen principles to the office.

  • Put it down (Don’t hang on to perceived insults, aggravations, grudges, bad feelings, etc.)
  • Don’t check (Don’t bother judging or keeping track of other people’s bad behaviors, etc.)
  • Bow to your teacher (When someone is torturing you, just bow to them in your mind and see that they are teaching you something)

    • Sure, but I am also a sharp-humored gal with a scientific streak, so I like my psychological and sociological experiments. The Market Research guy calls me the Cultural Anthropologist.

    When someone has a difficult conversation to hold with an employee, or when someone has a daunting presentation, or has been given a dysfunctional team to manage, well, I like to sit with that person and frame the whole ordeal as an experiment.

    This is useful for a couple of reasons:
    1. It introduces some objectivity into the equation. It’s hard to freak out when you are busy observing the situation.
    2. Experiments are fun! No matter how awful an experience might be, if you have data to interpret at the end, it can’t be all bad.

    Okay, so there you have it. There are things I notice and experiment with that don’t exactly fall within traditional zen parameters. And so we introduce Machiavellian Tips and Tricks.

    Tip 1: Dress for success

    Can you bend people to your will, depending on how you’re dressed? Oh yeah.

    What you need for this experiment:

  • Pencil skirt suit
  • High heels

    • Put on suit and shoes. Go to work. Pay attention to whether everyone thinks it’s a good idea to listen to what you say and do the things you suggest. It’s magical! (Men, you are on your own — I have no idea what the guy-equivalent of this experiment is.)

    Could I be disingenuous and say the pencil skirt suit and high heels combo has no power? I could. But I’d be lying. Clearly, they do. Magical corporate power. My red purse actually seems to have some, too. Red accessories in general. This is a function of my particular office, I think. Other colors probably work in other environments. We are traditional and buttoned-down. In a more avant garde office you’re gonna have to experiment to find out what works.

    Can you bend people to your will, if you dress a certain way? Oh yeah. Should you practice your zen and be mindful about how you use these powers? Yes. Yes, you should.

    top_meditation_ocean