Archive for March 15th, 2009

Day off

I understand there’s a new “tradition” of led primary on Friday (last day of week).

My particular situation offers an opportunity to both honor the tradition and be crim at the same time:

1) Friday home practice primary (correct day, incorrect format)
or
2) Saturday led primary (incorrect day, correct format)

This week, I did my usual end of the week Friday primary. But yesterday I REALLY felt like it’d do me good to spend the day outside of my own head. So I took the led class from 10-12, and then headed over for a visit to Candice’s massage table from 2-3. Heat and humidity, and then a nice massage.

No work thoughts or chores. No housekeeping thoughts or chores.

I needed a day off. And as I told The Cop at the end of the day, there was a moment during the afternoon when I actually felt like the grief veil was lifted and the world was composed of bright colors and I felt some happiness and peace.

***

Led practice was nice. The British Director was there, and Muscle Man gave me a big hug when he saw me.

I hadn’t been to Mysore practice or Saturday led in a number of months because both of those things take place when The Cop is sleeping after a night of work. When Tyler first came home with us, I stayed here with him (i.e., practiced in the yoga room) because he got upset and cried if I was out of his sight. When he was a little older and could amuse himself, I went back occasionally. Then, when he was older still, I had to knock off because he was goofy and super-noisy when he entertained himself in his crate, throwing his toys around in there and jumping around and making enough racket to wake The Cop.

I certainly couldn’t explain this at led class when Muscle Man said, “It’s so good to see you. Where have you been?” So I stuck to a vague “Oh, work and home…” response.

Which got me to thinking: the cybershala knows about all of this, but not the analog shala. I think it’s interesting that we get to know each other so well online, and I think a good bit of it is due to the asynchronous nature of the communication. When I go to practice, I may or may not have time to chat with someone (generally not, especially at Mysore), so it’s easy to have relationships where you don’t share very many thoughts (which is fine, by the way). The digital shala, though, is a place where I can talk when I feel like it, and I can read about what other people are thinking when I feel like it, and none of it relies on us being in the same place at the same time.

I’m sure there are plenty of people who would think it’s very sad that we have relationships via digital media, but I don’t understand that at all. Physical presence is certainly nice, and it’s a delight to be in the same place with your friends. But for thoughtful expression of someone’s perspective, you really can’t beat writing.

Which now makes me think of people who can’t or don’t write. I guess that really does bar relationship-building via digital means. Unless you use audio or video. Still, access to those media are kind of mediated by text instructions/information. This reminds me of a discussion I had with a traditional Freudian analyst many years ago. He said that one requirement of analysis is that the analysand be articulate. Same deal for the cybershala.

***

Okay, so yesterday was a day off for chores and my mind. We’ll make up for it today. Today will be plenty of chores — The Cop’s parents are coming to visit on Monday and will be here for a week. So today will be all about cleaning and preparing and thinking up events to amuse them.