Please come back

Posted in dog!, moment on 02/28/2009 04:15 pm by karen

It’s very hard to feel okay here in the house, without Ty around. All the obvious things: his food bowl, his collection of toys, his crate that lies at the edge of the yoga room, the crate in the bedroom on my side of the bed. And most tender of all, the two spaces he most enjoyed — a corner of the livingroom where he’d curl up on a blanket in the evening, and a space by the window in the kitchen where he could sit and look out the window while supervising my telework.

The prana is still there and I keep wanting him to come back and reembody it.

***

I got home from work at noon yesterday — usually I telework on Fridays, but there were a few meetings I needed to attend in person. The Cop was asleep, having worked the previous evening. Ty was in his crate by the yoga room. He greeted me as usual, wiggling exuberantly and wagging his tail. I let him out and we went into the back yard. He paused by the door to grab one of his rope toys, then bounded out. He trotted around the back yard, and I played at lunging toward him and reaching for his toy.

After a bit, I turned to go inside to make his lunch. As I looked back to see if he was following me, I saw that he’d collapsed and seemed to be having a seizure. I tried to rouse him out of it, but he was not responsive. I called for The Cop and he came running. We both tried to revive Ty, but it was too late.

My poor little buddy.

We took him to our vet. They will examine his body to see if they can figure out what happened. Usually I am pretty good at just accepting things, but I really need some help understanding this, as does The Cop.

***

When we got home from the vet, we were both in shock, obviously. So I did what I do when I am disoriented: I got busy. I’d been planning to move my blog from WordPress.com to a self-hosted site, which wasn’t as easy as I’d initially imagined. There was a learning curve, which I’d decided I would focus on this weekend. Instead, after the vet, I decided to apply my attention to the site move. It was that, or sit like a zombie for the afternoon and evening. So now the usual WordPress link redirects to the new site, which is http://donutszenmom.com

Transitions.

As Arturo commiserated with me yesterday, life is ever changing and fragile. Indeed.

***

The Cop can be suspicious of online community, but he has been touched by the response of the Ashtangis. As have I, though I’m not surprised. You guys rock. Thanks for everything.

 

11 Comments

  1. I am so very, very sorry about this. I hope you do get some answers, for your own peace of mind. Much love to you.

  2. I remember feeling the same way when I lost Scout unexpectedly, and then Maggie more expectedly, in the span of six weeks. I saw them everywhere. I am not sure really what words to offer, as losing a pet is heartbreaking. So thinking of you instead, and sending love and peace across the miles.

    With a little time the loss becomes easier, but Ty will always have a very special place in your heart.

  3. I would want answers too- seems like it might help with the understanding the death that seems so premature. I loved this line: “The prana is still there and I keep wanting him to come back and reembody it.”
    It’s so perfect to describe loss and how energy is palpable and lingering. I buried my two cats and my boyfriend’s dog (also died too young) by my backdoor, in a garden area, because we wanted them to be near us. I know that sounds corny, but there’s a sad and sweet feeling of having them there. I’m reminded of them when I’m out back gardening, but the more time goes by the memories become less sad and more about the smiles they brought into my life.

  4. As I look over at ‘the boys’ snuggled together sleeping on their bed while I type this, I’m infinitely sad. I’m really so very sorry this happened.

  5. Gosh, your description of his presence lingering in the house really chokes me up. I’ve already said it, but I’m so sorry you’re going through this–but what a lucky puppy he was to have had you as him dogmom.

  6. Peace be with you.

    In some Catholic churches, there’s a meet-and-greet break in the middle of the service during which people go around and say that to each other. I am glad that online community is showing you its soul now.

  7. Wishing you peace.

  8. Hi Karen
    wishing you peace also. i’m so happy also to be able to reach this version of your blog and comment.
    hugs
    Arturo

  9. So sorry to hear about Tyler, Karen. His pictures here always made me smile if not laugh out loud. We get so close to them, so aware of their character, temperament and even their changes in mood, sometimes one minute to the next. No wonder then we feel their loss so profoundly.

  10. Just wanted you to know how much joy you gave your readers by sharing Ty with us. I loved every story, picture and video clip. It’s all so brief, isn’t it?

  11. Karen – I am so very sorry for your loss. Dogs, especially one as sweet and charismatic as Ty, are such amazing creatures, balancing out our analytical natures with their pure love and acceptance. Peace, Carol

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