donutszenmom.com

The Cop asked me to look at his last urdhva dhanurasana. I did. Made comments about things to do, things to change, etc. Should have been more thoughtful, perhaps. About where he was coming from. Ambition? Pride? Frustration?

My answer didn’t seem to be what he was looking for. I felt sorry for a moment but went back to practice.

Was tempted to say something about how little one can get back from yoga, in terms of clear praise (from teachers), clear progress (from the system), clear direction (from the self). Of course, all of this is true and NOT true.

So instead of saying anything, I just shut up.

Because in the end, all of it would dissolve in the next breath.

I’m not quite sure if yoga is going for the same thing as zazen, but if I am in the breath (one by one, not looking forward, not looking back) everything melts with each breath.

The Cop’s been really getting stronger on the breath, and letting our interaction melt seemed more important than trying to clarify it.

How can we think words clarify?

How can we think point-of-view is the be-all, end-all?

What strange delusions.

Before practice, I visited Owl’s blog, where her entry pointed, humorously, at the observer effect.

Thanks for that little boost to my subconscious, Owl.

Urdhva dhanurasana (for me) was interesting after my nice breath-conscious practice. I *strive* so hard with UD. Muscle, muscle, muscle.

After the first one, I lay on my mat and breathed, then set up for the second. Felt how tense my quads got, how tense my upper back as I set my hands. How my mind buckled down to think of all the things I think I need to think about.

I relaxed back down. Shook my arms and legs, thought about being gawky and soft and goofily articulated through my joints. Thought about just turning myself inside-out, flipping the heart chakra (which I involute) out.

MUCH easier to go up.

Letting go of my ideas about my own strength subtracted a good bit of gravity.