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I’m slightly buzzed. Why? ESB. If you know about beer, I guess you know about ESB (extra special bitter). I don’t drink beer, but The Cop and I went to visit My Gift at her college in hippie town, and we visited the brewery/restaurant/coffee house where she works two nights a week.

I was cheery from being with My Gift and being in a hippie town and walking in the rain and looking in a little Asian antique store, so when the waitress (My Gift’s roommate) asked me what I wanted, I ordered an ESB. Damn! That stuff rocks! We also had this garlic appetizer that is delivered to the table in a little cast iron pan. In the pan, about an inch and a half of boiling olive oil and a bunch of delicious garlic cloves to spread on French bread toast.

Wait a minute! Seriously? I’ve never thought much about this, but My Gift is someone who can’t carry a bowl of soup from the kitchen to the livingroom without spilling a good bit of it along the way. And now I realize that the people who are putting pans of boiling oil or sizzling Mexican food or steaming pasta on my table are people just like her! Regular goofy just-barely-past-teenage-ers who will likely be surprised when the food they spill on me causes third degree burns.

Beware your server.

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Practice was good the day after the ESB and garlic. My muscles felt really strong and I was super flexible. That said, I had a sour stomach. Oh well.

Ever since, though, I’ve had a hankering for more ESB. Which I found today at Wild Oats. I went for ylang ylang oil, but then started looking around for loose chai, since I was there, and then I spotted the beer aisle, and yes! An ESB. And not only an ESB. but an organic ESB. Not sure what difference its organic-ness makes, but it’s quite tasty. Quite like the one I had in hippie town.

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Speaking of hippies: VBG played the Grateful Dead during practice this morning. The British Director and I were the only ones there. Sanskrit Scholar is off at a conference, or else she would have had something to say about the loud music. I was fine with it — Grateful Dead music is infectiously happy. Practice went well, as it has been of late. That’s the morning, though. In the evenings (and when I am sleeping) I am haunted by fears that I am screwing up my back. Not because I am, but because I was brought up NOT to do ANYTHING that might hurt my back. So everyone in my family doesn’t do anything that might hurt their backs (i.e., move them) and then they all end up with lower back problems. Whatever. I imagine that eventually my psyche will believe we’re okay with this yoga stuff.

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Why was I buying ylang ylang? Because supposedly it regulates the release of adrenaline. Why am I concerned about adrenaline? Because I have a huge presentation to give for the board of directors on Friday morning. I am busily over-preparing, and even feel kind of excited to share the information I’ll be talking about, but I have had bad experiences with pre-presentation adrenaline surges. Basically, it makes me feel like my whole body is frozen and tense, and then my mind goes blank, my voice gets all crunched up in my throat, I hear myself talking to myself about how awful it all is, even as I’m speaking in my crunchy voice, and the whole thing is excruciatingly uncomfortable.

I did some research to see if there are good ways to regulate adrenaline, and it’s the usual “deep breaths, move around, etc.” kinds of suggestions. I was hoping for a pill I could take.

Anyone who has any surefire suggestions for mastering the fight or flight response, let me know. I’ve already thought about it and realize I can’t run from the room, nor can I slug someone to get past the hormonal surge.