Water buffalo

Posted in ashtanga yoga on 06/03/2007 09:05 am by karen

Koans help you understand your relationship to what is. I’ve been working koans for a good while, since the schools I’ve practiced with have been Rinzai schools. Koans involve very internal work: you can’t crack them with your mind/intellect. What you need to do is put them in the back of your mind while you meditate, instead of trying to think them through. Yup, just percolating in the back of the mind. But don’t forget it! The koan is important, but can’t be solved by thinking. So what’s your other option? Just do it.

And damned if it doesn’t work. All of a sudden, in “real life,” you go: “Ohhh! So that’s it!” I’ve “gotten” some koans after sitting on retreats, but the ones that really came clear happened in real life situations.

Koans remind me of asana. Volleyball Guy has said that “no ego” will help asana practice. I think when he says that, people think of ego as whatever it is that drives overt egoism, and then that’s followed up with the idea that the point is to push the ego away, to get rid of the “I.” But I think it’s actually more a case of letting the “I” be, of being compassionate about the “I,” but also understanding that it can’t crack the asana. And its ideas about itself (my ideas about myself, your ideas about yourself), will most likely hinder progress. Well, or maybe the ideas are just entirely irrelevant. Not sure about that part.

Anyhow, here’s an example: If I have no thoughts in utthita hasta padangusthasana, I balance; if I have thoughts, I waver and fall out. “Don’t think! Don’t think!” counts as a thought. “I’m not thinking,” counts as a thought. “That person across from me is teetering,” is the worst thought of all. ;-) So how to let go of the thoughts? Practice. Are the thoughts bad? No. And to think they are is an even thornier thought.

I’ve been working a particular koan for years. It’s from the Mumonkan (also called The Gateless Gate), which was compiled by Mumon:

CASE 38. GOSO’S BUFFALO

Goso asked, “A water buffalo goes out of his ‘enclosure.’ The head, the horns, and the four legs go through, but why doesn’t the tail, too?”

Mumon’s Comments:
If you can open your one eye (to the question) and say an awakening word, you will be able to repay the Four Obligations and help the Three Bhava being saved. If you still have not gotten it, take a close look on the tail and awaken yourself.

If the buffalo goes through, he will fall into the abyss,
If he retreats into the enclosure, he will be butchered.
This little bit of a tail,
that is a strange thing indeed!

***

I’ve been at this koan for what seems like forever. Suddenly, though, I’m seeing tails all over the place. Will they go away soon? That was never the point. Will they pass through? LOL! More practice is in order.

 

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  1. One of the toughest lessons for me in asana practice is to “put myself aside”. Take Supta K….for over a year, I obsessed about it, I dissected it, I talked about it, I tried to get myself into it, it was driving me crazy.

    When I started studying at my shala, one day I just gave up. Put myself into Kurmasana and when I felt the teacher/assistant’s hands, I just let myself go limp. Nothing much changed, but the next day I let myself go limp. And the day after that.

    And now Supta K is happening. But did I learn? No, because now I’m putting myself well into Dwi Pada. I think because one is sitting upright in D. P. it’s harder to just let go, but there is a way. Thanks for this post, it has shown me part of the way :-)

  2. I think your insight that it’s harder to let go because you are sitting up in DP is quite fascinating. Not just the physical “harder to let go” because you might fall, but also the mental “harder to let go of the ego” because you are sitting up. It totally makes sense that it is easier to set oneself aside when lying face down — while sitting up and balancing against gravity, it is a new and entirely more challenging situation! But at least you’ve already learned that if you just practice, it will happen.

  3. Yeah, it will. That I have no doubt, even if 5 times a week it feels like it won’t :-)

    BTW, it should have read “…because now I’m putting so much effort into Dwi Pada”. I don’t know why I typed what I typed!

  4. Perhaps it’s nailed to the wall (the tail, that is). ;)

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