donutszenmom.com

Just re-reading a little of Matthew Sweeney’s book, and came across this:

From the ideal individual and therapeutic approach to yoga that Krisnamacharya advocated, modern Astanga can be overly regulated. The linear goal oriented nature of the practice often leads to an increased focus on achievement: who has a “better” practice or what is the correct practice. Conversely, not enough focus on the boundaries and tradition can also be a problem. The competitiveness that often arises is simply a stage, not one necessarily to be avoided; just something to pass through as you become more centred. The fiery nature of the practice also heightens awareness; the feeling is of moving forward. Eventually, however, there are only two possibilities: soften or bust. You either give up (or your body does) or you learn to relax into the reality of what is: self acceptance. The only correct practice is that which is, traditional practice or otherwise. You have the freedom to choose what is appropriate and you bear responsibility for that choice. It is your teacher’s responsibility to direct you away from the path of least resistance towards the path of maximum benefit. Try to balance both of these inclinations.

That’s some good stuff. All about balance. I particularly like that line about the teacher’s responsibility being to steer one away from the path of least resistance.

And I was heartened to hear the competitiveness addressed as a phase. I am driven and competitive by nature, though quite honestly, I seem to be really getting past that lately. Not just in yoga, but in general. I can feel a surge of competitiveness and then be able to see it for what it is and just put it down. That’s something new: before, I could see it for what it was, but try as I might, I couldn’t let go of the feeling.

The part about the practitioner bearing responsibility for his or her choices is also very interesting. It reminds me of last night, when I had all these tingly, nervy feelings in my right arm and hand and foot.

I’ve had migraines and their associated strange neurological effects for years. My Gift has it, too — it runs in the family. Everyone gets a CAT scan when they have their first migraine, to make sure there’s no tumor or anything like that, and then we go about our business with occasional weirdo effects: “holes” in your vision, or loss of peripheral vision, or this strange feeling that your left hand isn’t really “yours.” Usual migraine stuff.

I’ve had fewer and fewer migraines as I’ve gotten older, so last night’s tingly thing took me a little by suprise. I quickly thought back to see if I’d been eating lots of migraine trigger foods lately, and then suddenly zeroed in on the most likely culprit: backbends! I definitely remember KJS posting about nerve stuff with backbends, and I have to go back and look for that. I’ll also look around on ezBoard.

I was brought up to over-react to physical symptoms. So of course, being the stubborn and difficult person that I am, I tend to under-react. I do, though, like to look up info on other people who’ve had similar experiences (Oliver Sacks’s book, Migraine, rocks, BTW — for anyone curious about the neurological effects of migraines). There’s always a little voice inside me, though (which sounds suspiciously like my Mom’s voice), telling me to go to the emergency room whenever ANYTHING happens. Papercuts or work stress included. It also says that backbends are inherently unsafe. Forward bends are fine, and even arm balances, though it doesn’t understand why I would take the risk of crashing out of one.

Interesting to become conscious of these belief systems. There’s definitely something loosening up in my back and there is definitely something in me that screams to keep things status quo, to avoid changing anything that is me. This is exactly where the physical meets the conceptual. What a trip. I guess this is yoga.

Or, rather, damn hot. Yup, it was hot at Starbucks of Yoga this morning. Led class, and there are New Year’s resolutions going on. Lots of people. I haven’t sweated for months, it seems, so it was just delightful. I can’t wait for summer!

Volleyball Guy did chanting as folks were coming into the room. Usually everyone just chatters away until 10 on the dot, when Volleyball Guy announces, “Samasthiti!” This morning, though, there was chanting of the yamas, niyamas and the eight limbs. Also the chant: Asatoma Sat Gamaya, Tamasoma Jyotir Gamaya, Mrityorma Anritam Gamaya — which I love. I’m not a huge chanting fan. It’s pretty much impossible for me to learn things from just hearing them (and I have six years of diligently pursued and ultimately hopeless French classes to prove it). If I can see the words, though, it’s a whole ‘nother story. For some reason, Volleyball Guy had a little whiteboard and had written out the words to the Asatoma chant, and then he took some time to translate. Very cool. Luckily we have chanting books at the zendo, where chanting can go on for close to an hour during retreats. Without the book, I’d be lost.

Speaking of the zendo, there is a women’s retreat scheduled for the 20th of this month. I am psyched. Just a one day deal — 5:30 AM – 5 PM. A nun from the main zendo (in California) will be coming out to lead the retreat. It’ll mean missing a led class, but it’ll also be a chance to really see how asana practice has affected my sitting. I am aware of a HUGE difference, physically, when I just sit for 20 minutes here at the house, so it’ll be interesting to see how the difference manifests over the course of a day. And also how the differences might manifest in my mind. I’m always wondering how Ashtanga affects the stillness/concentration of my mind, as compared to zazen. Basically, I’ve been practicing Ashtanga for a year and a half, and during that time I have not sat for a whole day. Now I’ll get to see how the asana practice affects my meditation. Quite exciting.

Led class this morning was lovely; the energy in the room was very personable and energetic. Lots of smiling and the occasional humorous quip and some laughter. Crim Girl was coming in just as I arrived, so we practiced next to each other. Just as we finished the first surya A, it occurred to me that my pants felt weird. Too high in the front, too low in the back. I peeked inside the waistband, and sure enough, they were on backwards. Oh boy. I wondered if perhaps it wouldn’t matter, but then realized it was going to drive me crazy, so I made a quick trip to the Yoginis room (seriously, that’s what the sign says) and turned ‘em around. Back in the day, it would have disturbed me that I couldn’t dress myself properly. Now though, I’m neither surprised nor concerned. I guess the equanimity of yoga really is pretty handy

Urdhva dhanurasanas were good. I pulled my mat up to the wall so I could try to push my chest to the wall. One very clear indication that the extra backbending I’ve been up to is useful: we did a bunch of urdhva dhanurasanas, and I didn’t keep track of how many we were going to do, how many we had left, etc. Another indication: my hands and feet are getting closer to each other and I’m actually starting to kind of like the way it feels when I push deeper and deeper into the backbend. Woohoo! I can’t even tell you how relieved I am that I am starting to like backbends. I’ve always wanted to, and now I am. Or perhaps I am just seeing the writing on the wall: I’m starting second, and I’d BETTER start liking backbends! Either way, I’ll take it.

The plumbers have finished the project. Yay! Now we just have holes in our walls. I don’t mind them, though, because they’re small and at least we have the house back to ourselves. The dishwasher doesn’t work. That was my discovery this morning. I think it’s a plumbing-related event. The Cop will not be amused. He worked last night, so is sleeping now. As is My Gift. And me? I’m working from home. Nice.

Poor My Gift. She called from the mall last night. Her car had been broken into. They smashed the passenger window and stole her stereo and CDs. She sounded cheery and fine with it all when she called to ask The Cop about whether to file a police report. Apparently her friends were astounded by her response to the crisis. “Well, it’s gone,” she said. “No sense getting worked up about it.” I just called Progressive and found out that the 3K I pay in premiums for me and My Gift doesn’t cover glass. Sigh. Car insurance really bites. Interestingly, a significant number of the people The Cop pulls over do not have insurance.

Practice. Practice rocked this morning. One of those everything-feels-great practices. Where you start breathing slower and slower because the poses feel so good. Then, at the very end of this great practice, I remembered: I went to bed last night with a bad headache, woke a few times during the night because of it, and then woke up with it in the morning. So I had a couple of Advil with my coffee. Ahhhh, so this is how the addiction begins! Immediately I thought to myself: Oooh, I have to remember to take Advil before practice! But that’s probably not a good habit to establish…

I continued with my criminal backbending practice on Tuesday and Thursday. I’m guessing everyone has a sore lower back when they really start digging into the backbends. Right? Right? Whatever. I will live with the pain, because I imagine it will get better at some point. On Wednesday, during Mysore practice, my urdhva dhanurasanas actually felt really good. Volleyball Guy also did the adjustment where your teacher sits between your feet and uses his foot to push, push, push your upper back. Terrific! And today Sanskrit Scholar helped me with dropbacks, then she and Volleyball Guy teamed up to give me a stellar urdhva d adjustment.

The beauty part of the Tues/Thurs crim practice is that I am doing SO many different backbend preps that I am finally starting to feel a little comfortable with it all. My breathing isn’t as stressed, my mind isn’t as panicked, and there’s even a little bit of enjoyment starting to creep in. Any time I have a project (like this backbend project), any feelings I had about success or failure tend to fall away and I just get curious about the process. I really needed this so I could escape from just hating or dreading urdhva dhanurasana. Now my ineptness is just a variable in the project, rather than the final, predictable result of each individual attempt at the pose.

Okay, back to work. Performance evaluations for everyone!

An astonishingly poetic excerpt from an article at space.com:

Full Moon names date back to Native Americans, of what is now the northern and eastern United States. Those tribes of a few hundred years ago kept track of the seasons by giving distinctive names to each recurring full Moon. Their names were applied to the entire month in which each occurred.

There were some variations in the Moon names, but in general the same ones were current throughout the Algonquin tribes from New England on west to Lake Superior. European settlers followed their own customs and created some of their own names. Since the lunar (“synodic”) month is roughly 29.5 days in length on average, the dates of the full Moon shift from year to year.

Here is a listing of all the full Moon names, as well as the dates and times for 2007. Unless otherwise noted, all times are for the Eastern Time Zone.

Jan. 3, 8:57 a.m. EST – The Full Wolf Moon. Amid the zero cold and deep snows of midwinter, the wolf packs howled hungrily outside Indian villages. It was also known as the Old Moon or the “Moon After Yule.” In some tribes this was the Full Snow Moon; most applied that name to the next Moon.

Feb. 2, 12:45 a.m. EST – The Full Snow Moon. Usually the heaviest snows fall in this month. Hunting becomes very difficult, and hence to some tribes this was the Full Hunger Moon.

March 3, 6:17 p.m. EST – The Full Worm Moon. In this month the ground softens and the earthworm casts reappear, inviting the return of the robins. The more northern tribes knew this as the Full Crow Moon, when the cawing of crows signals the end of winter, or the Full Crust Moon because the snow cover becomes crusted from thawing by day and freezing at night. The Full Sap Moon, marking the time of tapping maple trees, is another variation. A total lunar eclipse will take place on this night; the Moon will appear to rise will totally immersed (or nearly so) in the Earth’s shadow over the eastern United States. The rising Moon will be emerging from the shadow over the central United States, while over the Western U.S. the eclipse will be all but over by the time the Moon rises.

April 2, 1:15 p.m. EDT – The Full Pink Moon. The grass pink or wild ground phlox is one of the earliest widespread flowers of the spring. Other names were the Full Sprouting Grass Moon, the Egg Moon, and — among coastal tribes — the Full Fish Moon, when the shad came upstream to spawn. This is also the Paschal Full Moon; the first full Moon of the spring season. The first Sunday following the Paschal Moon is Easter Sunday, which indeed will be observed six days later on Sunday, April 8.

May 2, 6:09 a.m. EDT – The Full Flower Moon. Flowers are abundant everywhere. It was also known as the Full Corn Planting Moon or the Milk Moon.

May 31, 9:04 p.m. EDT – The Blue Moon. The second full Moon occurring within a calendar month is usually bestowed this title.

Although the name suggests that to have two Full Moons in a single month is a rather rare occurrence (happening “just once in a . . . “), it actually occurs once about every three years on average.

June 30, 9:49 a.m. EDT – The Full Strawberry Moon. Known to every Algonquin tribe. Europeans called it the Rose Moon.

July 29, 8:48 p.m. EDT – The Full Buck Moon, when the new antlers of buck deer push out from their foreheads in coatings of velvety fur. It was also often called the Full Thunder Moon, thunderstorms being now most frequent. Sometimes also called the Full Hay Moon.

Aug. 28, 6:35 a.m. EDT – The Full Sturgeon Moon, when this large fish of the Great Lakes and other major bodies of water like Lake Champlain is most readily caught. A few tribes knew it as the Full Red Moon because the moon rises looking reddish through sultry haze, or the Green Corn Moon or Grain Moon. A total lunar eclipse will coincide with moonset for the eastern United States. The Central and Mountain Time Zones will see the Moon’s emergence coincide with moonset, while the western United States will see the entire eclipse.

Sept. 26, 3:45 p.m. EDT – The Full Harvest Moon. Always the full Moon occurring nearest to the Autumnal Equinox. Corn, pumpkins, squash, beans, and wild rice– the chief Indian staples–are now ready for gathering.

Oct. 26, 12:52 a.m. EDT – The Full Hunter’s Moon. With the leaves falling and the deer fattened, it is time to hunt. Since the fields have been reaped, hunters can ride over the stubble, and can more easily see the fox, also other animals that have come out to glean and can be caught for a thanksgiving banquet after the harvest. The Moon will also be at perigee later this day, at 7:00 a.m., at a distance of 221,676 miles from Earth. Very high tides can be expected from the coincidence of perigee with full Moon.

Nov. 24, 9:30 a.m. EST – The Full Beaver Moon. Time to set beaver traps before the swamps freeze to ensure a supply of warm winter furs. Another interpretation suggests that the name Beaver Full Moon comes from the fact that the beavers are now active in their preparation for winter. Also called the Frosty Moon.

Dec. 23, 2:51 a.m. EST – The Full Cold Moon; among some tribes, the Full Long Nights Moon. In this month the winter cold fastens its grip, and the nights are at their longest and darkest. Also sometimes called the “Moon before Yule” (Yule is Christmas, and this time the Moon is only just before it). The term Long Night Moon is a doubly appropriate name because the midwinter night is indeed long and the Moon is above the horizon a long time. The midwinter full Moon takes a high trajectory across the sky because it is opposite to the low Sun.

Fun little Book Quiz

My results:

You’re Siddhartha
by Hermann Hesse

You simply don’t know what to believe, but you’re willing to try anything once. Western values, Eastern values, hedonism and minimalism, you’ve spent some time in every camp. But you still don’t have any idea what camp you belong in. This makes you an individualist of the highest order, but also really lonely. It’s time to chill out under a tree. And realize that at least you believe in ferries.

The Cop laughed when he saw my results. “How many copies of that book do you have?” he asked. Um, three, I think. Maybe four. Gathered over many years.

***

His results:

You’re Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
by Mark Twain

With an affinity for floating down the river, you see things in black and white. The world is strange and new to you and the more you learn about it, the less it makes sense. You probably speak with an accent and others have a hard time understanding you and an even harder time taking you seriously. Nevertheless, your adventurous spirit is admirable. You really like straw hats.

The Cop loves that book. Not sure about the straw hat business, but he does like to affect accents for amusement.

***

Got up and did a backbend practice in celebration of my focus for 2007. I have a little routine worked out and will see if it helps me understand backbending a little more, if it helps open up my back. I’m thinking I’ll try 4-5 days of regular practice, and 2-3 days of the backbend-centric practice per week. We’ll see how that goes. I can tell you for sure that the psoas-stretching portion of the practice totally rocked.

The backbending focus of late (started when I began practicing the first few poses of second series) has resulted in some lower back pain. Not injury pain; just a dull ache. I’m assuming (correctly, I hope) that this is normal when one starts working more into the back. It’s a little frightening to me, because I come from a family of people with lower back issues. I’ve always felt like I escaped the family fate because I am active, but as I work with the new poses I’m realizing that there’s a secret assumption in me that perceives my lower back as a weak link. An interesting glimpse into internalized belief systems…

I am also forming a new belief system about the plumbers. I believe they now live here and will stay forever. Yup. Seriously. They’re still working. All day yesterday and back at it again this morning. We were supposed to be finished on Thursday. Then Friday. Well, you can understand why I imagine they’ll be here forever. All I want is for them to finish and leave so I can clean this poor, destroyed house.

Happy new year, everyone.

Fun little Book Quiz

My results:

You’re Siddhartha
by Hermann Hesse

You simply don’t know what to believe, but you’re willing to try anything once. Western values, Eastern values, hedonism and minimalism, you’ve spent some time in every camp. But you still don’t have any idea what camp you belong in. This makes you an individualist of the highest order, but also really lonely. It’s time to chill out under a tree. And realize that at least you believe in ferries.

The Cop laughed when he saw my results. “How many copies of that book do you have?” he asked. Um, three, I think. Maybe four. Gathered over many years.

***

His results:

You’re Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
by Mark Twain

With an affinity for floating down the river, you see things in black and white. The world is strange and new to you and the more you learn about it, the less it makes sense. You probably speak with an accent and others have a hard time understanding you and an even harder time taking you seriously. Nevertheless, your adventurous spirit is admirable. You really like straw hats.

The Cop loves that book. Not sure about the straw hat business, but he does like to affect accents for amusement.

***

Got up and did a backbend practice in celebration of my focus for 2007. I have a little routine worked out and will see if it helps me understand backbending a little more, if it helps open up my back. I’m thinking I’ll try 4-5 days of regular practice, and 2-3 days of the backbend-centric practice per week. We’ll see how that goes. I can tell you for sure that the psoas-stretching portion of the practice totally rocked.

The backbending focus of late (started when I began practicing the first few poses of second series) has resulted in some lower back pain. Not injury pain; just a dull ache. I’m assuming (correctly, I hope) that this is normal when one starts working more into the back. It’s a little frightening to me, because I come from a family of people with lower back issues. I’ve always felt like I escaped the family fate because I am active, but as I work with the new poses I’m realizing that there’s a secret assumption in me that perceives my lower back as a weak link. An interesting glimpse into internalized belief systems…

I am also forming a new belief system about the plumbers. I believe they now live here and will stay forever. Yup. Seriously. They’re still working. All day yesterday and back at it again this morning. We were supposed to be finished on Thursday. Then Friday. Well, you can understand why I imagine they’ll be here forever. All I want is for them to finish and leave so I can clean this poor, destroyed house.

Happy new year, everyone.